G is for German. And germaphobe.

Herr Josef* was my German teacher and the most terrifying person I knew when I was 12. He looked normal enough, 45ish and sporty in his pleated chino shorts, but was sometimes mistaken [by me] for having Tourette syndrome when he would yell words in German that I didn’t understand. He had a smile reserved […]

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Tiger Balm is not a panacea

If you’ve been raised by an Asian person, you already know that Tiger Balm cures everything. I don’t care if you have a stomachache, headache, irritable bowel syndrome, a sprained ankle, or hemorrhoids, Mr. Tiger Balm is your go-to guy. Roar. I’m going to tell you a story. In 1992, little Genevieve was 7, and […]

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Creepy stalker tendencies

Before Facebook, there was Friendster. Before Friendster, there was Xanga. Before Xanga, there were AIM status messages. Before AIM status messages, there were binoculars. Sometime during my freshman year in college, I realized that I was predisposed to what people call ‘creepy, stalker tendencies.’ These came naturally to me. At a huge, sprawling university filled […]

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Why I’m bad at karaoke

In my elementary school days and straight through early adulthood, I had a paralyzing fear of singing. Singing and dancing like the Jackson 5 in  show choir? NOPE. Pretending to be Christina Aguilera at homecoming? Not really. Screaming along to Bon Jovi/Madonna/Guns ‘N Roses at Silver Clouds? Only with 6+ shots of Jager or some […]

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