This pizza tastes like bleach

After watching Se7en, the movie that ended with Gwyneth Paltrow’s head in a box (spoiler alert,sorry), I decided that everyone was trying to kill me. With my eye sockets stretched wide open and my jaw muscles tight, I walked home through my quaint, well-lit neighborhood with my keys interlaced between my fingers, because keys that […]

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On being an epic poet

For those of you who know me well, or for those of you who were duped into reading my entire blog due to the facetious yet highly effective Gchat status message that said ‘Tupac in Mexico – Photos Here‘, you are aware that one of my life goals back in college was to become an […]

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Things to avoid trying at home

I have really nappy hair, and have tried countless professional and at-home remedies to turn my mane into that sleek-but-voluminous perfection I envy whenever I flip through the ‘Celebs: They’re just like us!’ section in US Weekly. After flat-ironing and de-frizzing my hair to an inch of its life over the last 26 years, I’ve […]

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Why I’m bad at karaoke

In my elementary school days and straight through early adulthood, I had a paralyzing fear of singing. Singing and dancing like the Jackson 5 in  show choir? NOPE. Pretending to be Christina Aguilera at homecoming? Not really. Screaming along to Bon Jovi/Madonna/Guns ‘N Roses at Silver Clouds? Only with 6+ shots of Jager or some […]

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My current workout playlist

I don’t have the most sophisticated taste in music. I’d be lying if I told you I lounged around to classical all day, reading Elizabeth Barrett Browning poems while playing Bach and Beethoven quietly in the background. That would be a bold-faced lie, and deception really isn’t my thing. Weirdly enough, I really do like […]

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