‘You probably shouldn’t eat that.’ Visibly irritated, I removed the large spoonful of Nutella from my mouth. ‘Why not?’ As if reciting from the latest edition of VegNews magazine, my mother responded, ‘It has palm oil in it, dear. That’s poison to your body! You wouldn’t drink a bottle of cyanide would you?’ With true […]
Continue reading →Every so often, I have a Self Loathing Wednesday. The term was coined back in 2007 by my friend James Getomer, whether he remembers coining it or not. It was a tricky concept to develop, but after much discussion we came to the conclusion that Self Loathing Wednesday would involve eating 2 dozen Krispy Kreme […]
Continue reading →This is part II to part I of the ever exciting Popcorn Guy saga. You may want to re-read it here to see where we last left poor Harry Hamilton. ‘My father?!’ Harry stuttered, at a loss for words. ‘I’ve never met him in my life. For all I know, he never existed and I’m […]
Continue reading →It was the kind of day that made me proud to be a native San Franciscan. I imagined my parents when they first moved to the city from Hong Kong and Fiji – how overwhelmed, excited, and terrified they must have felt. They sacrificed everything for me, so that I could experience a day like […]
Continue reading →Before Facebook, there was Friendster. Before Friendster, there was Xanga. Before Xanga, there were AIM status messages. Before AIM status messages, there were binoculars. Sometime during my freshman year in college, I realized that I was predisposed to what people call ‘creepy, stalker tendencies.’ These came naturally to me. At a huge, sprawling university filled […]
Continue reading →I’ve had chronic insomnia on and off since 2004. It really sucks. During some of my worst nights, I’ve resorted to the following: -vigorous kicking -silent crying -loud, audible crying -reading old college course readers -singing songs from my Lutheran elementary school days -driving to the 24 hour Kinkos One night around 4am, I decided […]
Continue reading →My boyfriend thinks my closet is bottomless. Bottomless, maybe. But attractive? Not always. This past weekend we were on a mission to go to a club. A real club – not a hipster douche bag one in the Mission, where I tend to frequent because I can unashamedly wear a v-neck t-shirt and my beat […]
Continue reading →It was around 6:15pm, and I was hurriedly making my way down the Montgomery station’s steps to catch my train. Naturally, I was also engrossed in a book, because reading and crossing busy streets make me feel dangerous. The L was coming! My eyes lit up as I tossed my book into my fake Italian […]
Continue reading →Today I got into a bit of a quagmire. There are 4 bathroom stalls on my floor. I was in stall number 2, minding my own business. Getting shit done. (Not that kind of shit). Like the sound of a dying llama, strained grunting and moaning (extremely nonsexual) suddenly emerged from stall number 1. Typical […]
Continue reading →There’s an editor in my office who eats popcorn all day long. It’s really very annoying. Everyday at 3, I know that Popcorn Guy will either be: 1. Burning his popcorn in the microwave, making the entire floor smell like incinerated roadkill or 2. Getting popcorn grease all over his keyboard as his shoves the […]
Continue reading →