It was around 6:15pm, and I was hurriedly making my way down the Montgomery station’s steps to catch my train. Naturally, I was also engrossed in a book, because reading and crossing busy streets make me feel dangerous. The L was coming! My eyes lit up as I tossed my book into my fake Italian leather purse and began to sprint.
Being a complete bigot, I noticed a large scaryish man glancing over my way. At first he was sly, slowly encroaching on my mad dash pathway to the train with the shifty eyes of a mass murderer. Then, he got excited. He stood right in front of me, blocking my route with his massive, fit for JNCO jeans body. I had been warned about recent freak MUNI homicides – people getting pushed onto the track, innocent bystanders stepping on a poisonous gas balloon encased by poop, and the unfortunate souls who got lost in the tunnels. This was it. I was going to die on Muni without even getting to watch the MTV VMAs on Sunday. My life was obviously over.
And then – ‘Dang Girl! You look like Lucy Liu! I was gonna stop and say hello but I was shy – I was gonna ask for your autograph! Have you ever gotten that before?’
Shocked and somewhat flattered, I nodded and said that I had, because all Asians apparently looks the same. ‘Thanks new friend!’ I mustered a quick smile as I ran to catch the train. Then I rode home, relieved to be alive, and happy that I now had a new picture for round two of the Facebook doppelganger game.