Popcorn guy

There’s an editor in my office who eats popcorn all day long. It’s really very annoying. Everyday at 3, I know that Popcorn Guy will either be: 1. Burning his popcorn in the microwave, making the entire floor smell like incinerated roadkill or 2. Getting popcorn grease all over his keyboard as his shoves the […]

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This pizza tastes like bleach

After watching Se7en, the movie that ended with Gwyneth Paltrow’s head in a box (spoiler alert,sorry), I decided that everyone was trying to kill me. With my eye sockets stretched wide open and my jaw muscles tight, I walked home through my quaint, well-lit neighborhood with my keys interlaced between my fingers, because keys that […]

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On being an epic poet

For those of you who know me well, or for those of you who were duped into reading my entire blog due to the facetious yet highly effective Gchat status message that said ‘Tupac in Mexico – Photos Here‘, you are aware that one of my life goals back in college was to become an […]

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